Today I know I was supposed to wake up early to make progress to my folder but again I woke up late. Well, what's new? I still continue to be very inefficient and undisciplined and lazy, and I still ask myself why they wanted me to join this program and become a manager. My Operations Manager sat down with me once and told me to own the program - because it is mine and not anyone else's so there really isn't any other person I can rely to than myself to do all these requirements by HR. By Sunday I will already have my first folder review and I will be found lacking if I continue with this speed - snails are faster than me these days, I hate it. Why I became as lazy as I am now? Maybe because (a) I am not happy with what I am doing, (b) uhm... see? I don't even have the energy to think of other reasons.
Ohh well, at least I made a teeny-weeny progress, if I can even call it progress, I opened my folder and thought of what evidences I can gather to prove that I am doing all these things and demonstrating the required behaviors at work.
One thing I learned: Don't expect to wake up EARLY with the required energy if you always sleep very late.
I hate it when I fight myself to sleep every single night.
Don't cry, Kristine. Don't think about that, Kristine. Close your eyes and sleep, Kristine.
It's 3:00 in the morning and my mind is still running at, say, 100mi/hr. What do you expect me to do?
Just try to be calm, pray, think of happy thoughts and not that, and pray some more, sing hymns in your mind, divert your attention to something else, then sleep will come eventually. Try it. :) (This is the other voice in my head that is trying to oppose the other me).
I sincerely hope I am not getting crazy.
Ohh well, at least I made a teeny-weeny progress, if I can even call it progress, I opened my folder and thought of what evidences I can gather to prove that I am doing all these things and demonstrating the required behaviors at work.
One thing I learned: Don't expect to wake up EARLY with the required energy if you always sleep very late.
I hate it when I fight myself to sleep every single night.
Don't cry, Kristine. Don't think about that, Kristine. Close your eyes and sleep, Kristine.
It's 3:00 in the morning and my mind is still running at, say, 100mi/hr. What do you expect me to do?
Just try to be calm, pray, think of happy thoughts and not that, and pray some more, sing hymns in your mind, divert your attention to something else, then sleep will come eventually. Try it. :) (This is the other voice in my head that is trying to oppose the other me).
I sincerely hope I am not getting crazy.
