How Do You Keep The Music Playing?

I still can't get over the sadness I'm feeling for losing Ka Naguit. It's been 2 days now, he died June 20.

Last night, in our worship service, you could really feel the tension, probably from the shock of us all, or from the sorrow that we feel. When we started to sing hymns of praises, our tears flowed without control, men and women, all of us at the same time. When our head deacon invited everyone to stand for a prayer, you couldn't hear any other sound anymore aside from our singing, the accompanying organ, and the weeping, the wailing of the choir members. I, myself cried my heart out to God because I couldn't contain the hurt anymore.

After our worship service, we all went together to his wake. I was trembling when I saw him lying in the coffin. I was trying very hard to keep myself composed because there were hundreds and hundreds of people inside the room. I shook the hand of Ka Glo, his wife, but I couldn't look into her eyes, yet when I saw Ate Ailah at the back, I knew there's no way I could hold back the tears any longer. We embraced tightly and cried. After that, I already went out to give way to the other people waiting in line to see him and speak with his family.

It's so amazing to see all these people from different walks of life, coming from different places, here and oversees, gathering to pay their last respects to this humble man. This man who offered his whole life in the service of God, who dedicated more than half of his life to teach and head the choir members in the Church in Pampanga and Tarlac (he turned 71 years old last week, June 12, and has been our teacher, tagapagturo, for 50 years or more).

This man taught us the meaning of music, literally and figuratively. He taught us how to read notes, time signature, correct breathing, correct posture, head tone, chest tone, hand and foot position, but most importantly, he taught us how to read between the lines we're singing, how to sing with our hearts, how to see our lives in the lyrics of the hymns, how to reach out to God though our voices. Yes, he patiently taught us all these amidst the storms, the calamities. He patiently taught us to value our duty to God and the Church under oil lamps or lampara even during brown-outs.

Now, how do we keep the music playing when the man who has been guiding us is now gone? On his burial, I can sense that we'll hear a defeaning silence, when all music will stop.

But I know he has entrusted us to Him before he passed away, so with His blessings and guidance, I can say we'll make it through. Besides, that's what he wants, too. He wouldn't want us to be stuck with his passing. What he would want is for us to embrace and value our duties more.

Ka Naguit, hindi po ako magsasawang sabihin ito.. Maraming maraming salamat po sa lahat ng itinuro nyo sa amin. Sa pagtyatyaga na mapuyat o gumising ng maaga at maglakbay para lang madalaw kaming mga Mang-aawit at masubaybayan mo po kami. Salamat po sa pagtupi mo ng manggas ng damit ko noong unang pagdalo ko ng Banal Na Hapunan at dahil inihatid mo pa kami ni Ate Ailah sa Kapilya noon para hindi na kami maglalakad dahil maaga pa. Salamat po sa pagmamalasakit mo sa amin. Maraming salamat po sa pagmamahal at ibinuhos mo ang buong buhay mo sa pagtuturo sa amin ng mga awit sa Pagsamba. Mahal na mahal ko po kayo!

...may the tears we shed in your passing help calm the waters under the bridge your family is now crossing, as you're not there anymore to hold the hands of your wife and children and guide and light the way for them.

...when we finally meet again in His Kingdom, we'll sing praises to God and His Son... together again.