I'm Lost...(Again)

Here I go again. I already felt this way before. It subsided but it resurfaced yesterday. Nakakainis! You know - the feeling of being unsure, of being lost, of not knowing what to do next. Yes, that's exactly how I feel. I've spent half my day searching the Internet for job opportunities, but ironically, with so many search results, it's like I'm looking for a needle in the haystack. I'm not being picky with the available jobs out there, I just don't want to land on the same spot if I leave the company I work for right now. I'm actually waiting for my supervisor to return - from I don't know where - because I asked if we can have a little chat before I go home today. That's because I'll be telling him that I'm resigning. Well, not immediately, but I may be out for the next days to get some things done (NBI Clearance, in particular and other stuff) so at least if I tell him now, then I won't feel that guilty anymore when I call in sick or due to an emergency (at least my sup knows what's the real score.)

I plan to go to the 3rd Metro Jobs Fair in Megamall on Aug. 3 - 5. Siguro at sana naman may tatanggap sa akin ng trabaho dun, no?

Going back to how I feel, what I'm pondering on these:

1. Am I sure I want to try working in Manila?
Well, it's "okay" in the simplest meaning of the word. But what about papa? It just turned out that no relative can accompany him so that means he has to live alone. The other thing that bothers me is the thought of living under the same roof as my aunt and her husband. So I've lived with them for two years before, but after some senseless things happened, I'm not so sure anymore. Ang hirap kasi makisama eh. Haaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy.

2. Will I pass all the interviews and exams?
I've been working in one company for 4 years now so it feels like I'm a newbie again...besides, I'm e-mail support and never a voice support. I mean, until now, I still don't know how to pronounce Des Moines and Sioux Falls. (got that from Thet) hahaha! (promise..)

Yeah, right, talk about self-esteem. I attended a seminar yesterday about having high self-esteem and here I am, sulking. sheeeesh!

3. Which company?
Which call center offers good salary? I am actually not sure of the rates in Manila. About a year ago, I applied for a position in a bank (call center din) in Alabang, Northgate, and the offer was only P15,000. Is that big enough? I don't really know. (I guess by now you know how badly I need more money than I'm currently earning.) I've heard from three of my co-workers that PeopleSupport pays better than other call centers. What do you think? Should I try it there or you have a better suggestion?

I only have myself to blame (though, I don't, really, LOL) for not being decisive. Bad trip talaga!

Uhm...really, what am I supposed to do? ang hirap pala ng ang daming isinasa-alang-alang no? It seems like every move I make can either make or break me, or my family.