All in God's Hands

I didn't know I can still post here. 

Indeed, it has been a while. A. Long. While.

How have you been?

Today, like others, I begin my day early in the morning, 5:20am to be exact. My alarm beeped and I thought to myself it feels like I just closed my eyes a couple of minutes ago, and now it's already time to wake up and start new day. You see, waking up early morning never suited me no matter how long I've been doing it. I just don't get used to it and struggle every single day, and believe me when I say every single day - for the past seven years or so. As I sit on the bed, I wonder how my body still cannot accept something it has been doing for so long! But oh, for how much longer, I ask.

Today, like others, I wake up at 5:20am, turn off my alarm then the second one (errr... two minutes later), struggle to sit on the bed, cover myself again with my blanket, bow my head and pray to God. I entrust everything that is to happen over the course of the day to Him, having firm and complete faith that He will be there to help me, support me, guide me, never abandon me, keep me safe, and hold my hand while I traverse the world.

Today, unlike others, our workforce will hear about the company's move dubbed as the "major restructure", "final phase of termination of services", "the big one", and I don't know what else they call it. HR booked the meeting room from 8:00am to 3:00pm, colleagues have asked me since yesterday, even calling me the "best actress", for they assume that I know what's going to happen today, but I honestly don't. Colleagues told me we must place ourselves on the safe side, but really, who are we kidding? We don't even have a side to lean on, we are likened to the blind mice sniffing our way in the office, while feeling cold, confused, demotivated, and scared. 

I have no idea who will be asked to leave the company, myself included - I really have no clue, but what I am assured of is that no matter what happens today, I am on God's side. Others can work hard to put themselves on what they perceive as the safe side, but my heart is at peace, knowing my Lord will be there for me, support me, guide me, never abandon me, keep me safe, and hold my hand while I await today's announcement. 

I entrust everything to You, my dear Lord God. Your will be done!